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[badluckwithplanes]

bangr

OWEN SHAW | 35

Born and raised in London, resident of the world. Any more personal information given only to those willing to ask for it.

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YES <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#33cc33;">✓</span>	NO <span style="font-family: times; font-size:40px; color:#CC0000;">✕</span>

IC INBOX:

"This is Shaw. Leave your message, get back to you once I can."

Comments

[assholic]

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Don't you have to be less anal retentive to be on this thing?

[badluckwithplanes]

I can't tell if you're trying to make a poor joke about "anal" or what.

[assholic]

If I was going that way, it'd be more about how gapingly anal you are.

[badluckwithplanes]

So I'm going to save us both some time right here.

I'm bisexual. Yes, men have fucked me before. No, I'm not ashamed of that. Stop trying to strike a note of panic in me on a chord that doesn't exist. What does it say about you that implying that about a bloke you barely know seems your go-to insult?

[assholic]

You're the one that's turning every comment into one about your sexuality, buddy. I don't give a chopped clam dick about who you fuck or get fucked by. I just like how much you want to prove you don't care.

[badluckwithplanes]

I don't care. You do know not every time two men hook up someone gets it in the arse, right? You struck me as the type to watch a lot of porn.

Do clams even have dicks?

[assholic]

Not into porn. Funny thing, the same thing happens when a guy and a girl get together. But if someone's not getting fucked, you're doing it wrong.

The boy ones do.

[badluckwithplanes]

If someone's not getting off, preferably both, you're doing it wrong.
Sex is still sex without penetration. Are you still in public school?

They're clams, though. Do they even have gender?

[assholic]

Tell that to the assholes that can't just shut up and give a good dicking.

Someone needs to google. Snails are hermaphroditic. Clams aren't. Neither are urchins. Suck that clam dick down.

[badluckwithplanes]

See now it's just painfully clear no one's ever given you good head. And I'm sorry for you.

[assholic]

You make it seem like I want someone's head between my thighs. Or that I can have that. Sorry, enh. You lose.

[badluckwithplanes]

How can you not be capable to have someone's head between your thighs? Would the broomstick get in the way?

[assholic]

Ever seen someone crush a watermelon with their thighs?

[badluckwithplanes]

Please. I would be shocked if you weigh ten stone, princess.

[assholic]

Keep tempting me to prove you wrong, Crumpet.

[badluckwithplanes]

Now what would that entail exactly?

[assholic]

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[badluckwithplanes]

How did you get enough liquor to get this drunk?

[She's all over the map, otherwise.]

[assholic]

Investigating is what I do. I investigated. And found some shit.

[badluckwithplanes]

I see. A prize to you for that then.

[assholic]

That's exactly what it is. And I stole someone's bed because they're being a whiny jackass. So I have a bed, booze, and nothing better to do than poke the bear.

cw: homophobic slurs

[badluckwithplanes]

Now now. You've done all this research on marine life and you're not even up enough on your lingo to know I'm not at all a proper bear.

Just a garden variety fag. Right?

[assholic]

There you go again, taking a casual term and turning it into something offensive to prove your point. You not getting laid or something? You're pretty touchy about something you don't care about.

[badluckwithplanes]

I don't think anything ill of myself for being who and what I am.

I suppose I must confess, I give more of a shit than I'd like about those who think less of me for such a preference.

Like someone who when she wants to insult a man instantly goes with the idea of taking a cock in the ass or down his throat. And keeps coming back to it again and again. Making it pretty bloody clear what she herself thinks of the notion, that she considers it safely and properly insulting to a man's pride and character.

But you're still open-minded enough to let me go down on you I suppose. Well aren't we charitable.

[assholic]

Yeah, I haven't said any of that. You're reading into it because you're looking for some reason to be an uppity asshole.

Take a page out of my book, Snookums. You don't need to make shit up to be a salty piece of shit. Just own being an asshole.

Asshole.